Monday, June 7, 2010
The Second Worst Mom in the World
Okay...caveat over...So, the other evening, I said to a teenage girl next to me, "you know, since you haven't yet, you might want to think twice about having children, they're overrated." And, I got the response that I'm pretty sure you just had--looks of shock and disbelief. How can you say such a thing? What mother...what human being, actually...would think that having children is not a vocation, if they're physically able, that they wouldn't want to fulfil. And, although I was only half-joking, I decided that for a moment, Number One worst mom was definitely my title.
But, honestly, no one really warned me, how incredibly difficult this mom thing would actually be. No one said that I will never have a full night of sleep ever again; no one ever said that in that rare moment I am asleep, the daughter who refuses to sleep in her own bed, would suddenly awake and throw up down my pajama sleever. No one ever said that I would envy convicts because they at least had moments to themselves. No one ever said that I would be planning an escape...wondering where I might retreat to, where no one would ever find me. I know this is the moment, where I'm supposed to transition to the but....but, they're so cute, and loving, and adorable. At this moment, however, I'm not even close to being there. I'm pretty sure I need some therapy...or at least Super Nanny...or maybe even just a nanny, but although I love them, I spend entirely too much time counting the moments to when I'll be alone. So, you people who aren't actually reading this....what am I supposed to do? How do I not dread the moments we're home alone together? How do I experience peace in my home? and stop experiencing the contant longing to take a nap? How do I love them (and like them) like those wonderful moms who get the #1 Mom coffee mugs for Mother's Day, and then after receiving them, don't give them away to the GoodWill?
Okay, I'm done! and I'm not going to re-read this rant. If any of you have words of wisdom, please share, and if not, well...don't think any less of me.