Steve just posted, so I decided it's time to begin this process again. I think when you're going in a mostly positive direction, it's much easier to let the world know. But, when you're really struggling...probably when you need to share it the most, even people like me (who keep virtually nothing hidden) tend to stop the typing and turn to paper journals instead...
So, here it goes again, sharing with the world...I have a tape in my head, that is always playing, and honestly it says things I wouldn't say to my worst enemy. "You're stupid, fat, ugly, and lazy." I've heard it for so long, so many times; it's waiting for a mistake to be made, or a pound to be gained, or a failure to pounce on; sometimes it's deafening, other times I'm able to drown out the noise with distractions; but it's always there. Don't worry, I'm in therapy...I'm trying to override it, to speak the truth to what I'm told is lies; But, often it wins--as it has been for the last six months or so. So, there you go, sometimes simply to name it, takes it power away (at least that's what I'm hoping); maybe tomorrow we'll talk more about quieting it, but today, no neat little bow, just naming where I've been. Today, just softly tip-toeing into the typed word...
